


All The Love We Had (And Lost)

by anephemeralmind



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, First Time, M/M, cause I haven't read it yet, except not really, no spoilers for Find Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 01:56:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20368738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anephemeralmind/pseuds/anephemeralmind
Summary: Armie hasn't spoken to Timmy in three years, so when Luca calls and asks him if he's ready to film the sequel to CMBYN, he's more than a little surprised. Mostly he's shocked that Timmy had signed on to do it at all, but after that, all he can think of is the fact that it will force them to be in the same place for an extended period of time.Is it too late to fix the things Armie broke all those years ago?





	All The Love We Had (And Lost)

**Author's Note:**

> I had the great idea that I should write a practice Big Bang fic, since I'm not used to having others determine the themes in my fic for me. So I was all HAHA I SHALL DO THEM ALL
> 
> I kinda failed. But hey, that's why it's called practice ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Even though it’s already been three years, Armie still remembers the last words Timmy spoke to him. But how could he not? The words still flash through his brain every single night as he tries to fall asleep.

Timmy had come to visit him in England while on a break from Dune, Elizabeth had been away on vacation with her friends, so it was only him, Timmy, and the kids. He’d had a few days off from shooting as well, so they’d been having the time of their lives taking the kids to the zoo, and the beach, just hanging out together.

The kids had loved having Timmy there almost as much as Armie did, but just almost, because he’s quite sure that Harper’s heart doesn’t skip a beat every time Timmy looks at her and smiles – but his heart definitely did.

He’d always known that this thing between them was more than just a normal friendship, the space Timmy occupied in his heart was way too big for that, and he knew that Timmy felt exactly the same way about him.

They had never actually said the words out loud, but it had always been there, simmering under the surface, even though they’d never acted on it. Unless you count that one night in Rome, when the walls had come crashing down around him, and Timmy’s touch was the only thing keeping him sane – but since they’d both seemed to silently agree to pretend that never happened, he’s not sure that it should count.

Physically, they’d restrained themselves – it might not have looked like it to outsiders, with all the comments they’d always gotten about how comfortable they seemed to be with each other’s touch – but knowing how easily they could have gone further, with touching, kissing, _everything – _Yeah, they had definitely shown restraint.

Emotionally though, there was no restraints at all. He’d given Timmy access to every single piece of him, handed it over a little by little, one dark secret at a time, until he knew for sure that Timmy could handle it all. Then he’d watched as Timmy knocked down every single wall he’d ever built, and settled himself in his rightful place, in the very core of his soul.

He knew it hurt Liz when he prioritized talking to Timmy over other familial obligations, and he probably should have made more of an effort to be a good husband, but the way Timmy made him feel – it was just far too addicting.

He’d naively thought he’d be able to have this forever; that Timmy and Liz would both be happy to have some of him, even though none of them could have all of him. 

He’d never been more wrong in his life.

Armie would never forget the way Timmy’s face twisted up in pain as he said those final words to him, before turning his back and walking out of his life, the door slamming shut behind him, closing the chapter of them completely.

It had started like any other dinner, Timmy had made them some fancy pasta dish he’d gotten Luca to teach him over Skype, because he’d missed his cooking. The wine had been flowing freely, and since the kids were already in bed, they had seen no reason not to indulge in a little too much of it.

He hadn’t seen it coming when Timmy had leaned in to kiss him, but he’d kissed him back, at least until his brain got caught up on what they were doing, and made him pull back. He’d sat up properly, looking down at Timmy, who was keeping his eyes shut, chewing on his wobbling bottom lip, looking like it was taking everything in him not to start crying.

“Timmy?” Armie whispered, he wanted nothing more than to reach out and gently pull Timmy’s lip out from between his teeth, but he wasn’t sure what kind of signals that would be sending out, and he definitely didn’t want to hurt Timmy even more than it looked like he’d already done. “What – Uhm… What did you do that for?”

“What, kiss you?” Timmy spits out, and Armie can’t deny that he’s taken by surprise by the fiery anger that both hardens his face, and colors Timmy’s words. “Don’t play dumb, Armie, please. You… You’re smarter than that.”

Timmy’s face softens as he lets out a sigh, looking back at Armie with a sad smile. “You know exactly why I kissed you, Armie, please don’t pretend that you don’t.”

Sucking a deep breath in through his teeth, Armie closes his eyes and lets out a wounded noise, seemingly startling Timmy, because he immediately comes closer and starts stroking Armie’s back. It takes everything in him for Armie not to lean into Timmy’s touch, to not soak up the comfort he’s so readily offering – instead he stands up, putting more space between them, leaving him feeling colder and more alone than he has in a good long while. “You know I can’t.” He says quietly, a little embarrassed to note that he’s already choking back tears.

“You can’t what?” Timmy sighs, standing up as well, though he doesn’t try reaching out for Armie again – instead he crosses his arms in front of himself. “You can’t do something that would make you happy? For once in your life, I wish you’d just…” Timmy cuts himself off with a shake of his head, but before he has the chance to pick his sentence back up, Armie interrupts him.

“You know it’s not that easy!” He shouts, eyes going wide with regret as Timmy takes a step back, looking – not exactly scared, but definitely a little wary. “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to yell at you, it’s just –” With a sigh, Armie looks down at his feet, sending a little prayer to the universe for the floor to open up and swallow him whole so he wouldn’t have to have this conversation.

Naturally, the floor stays whole, and there is no escape. Heaving a great sigh, he looks up into Timmy’s eyes, surprised to find them already welling up with tears, as if he already knows what Armie is going to say. And considering how well he knows him, he probably, definitely, does.

“I can’t do what you’re asking me to, Timmy. I- I have a life with Elizabeth, _children_! I…” He cuts himself off again, wincing as he prepares to speak his next sentence, because he knows exactly how Timmy is going to react. “This is the path I chose for myself, I’m sorry, but I need you to –”

Armie doesn’t even get to finish his sentence before Timmy rolls his eyes, and starts shaking his head while letting out a humorless chuckle. “For fuckssake Armie, you’re _not __O__liver_!” He’s never heard Timmy yell before, at least not at him, and since he wasn’t expecting it at all, it makes him start to back up, subconsciously trying to escape the situation. Timmy notices of course, and sucks in a deep breath before continuing at a much lower volume, with a soft, but sad, look on his face.

“You’re allowed to change your mind, you know? You’re not the same guy you were when you were 20, you can make a different choice, you can choose –” Timmy tries to reach out for Armie’s hands but he wrenches them away at the last second, and loudly starts talking over Timmy, shaking his head the entire time.

“No, Timmy, I can’t – I can’t _choose you!_ I just… _I can’t!_” Armie is surprisingly out of breath after his outburst, almost as if it took all the air out of his lungs to get those words out.

Timmy doesn’t say anything in response for a long, long while, instead he’s just looking down at his feet and anxiously chewing on his bottom lip, while Armie is slowly dying on the inside. He’s just about to try and take the words back, say them in a much calmer and kinder way, when Timmy visibly steels himself as he looks up at Armie, and Armie’s breath catches in his throat as he sees Timmy’s eyes swimming in tears.

“I wasn’t asking for you to choose me.” Timmy whispers quietly, “I was asking you to choose _yourself_. To take a chance on happiness. But if you can’t…” Timmy cuts himself off and Armie can see his bottom lip wobbling, obviously on the verge of crying. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Armie knows, even before Timmy opens his mouth, that whatever he’s going to say next, is going to completely break him.

Break them both.

With a sad nod, Timmy wipes his nose on the back of his wrist, before looking up at Armie and letting his tears fall freely down his cheeks. “Then I’m sorry, but, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t stand by and watch you do this to yourself. I can’t keep watching as you die a little more on the inside every day. It’s – it hurts too much.”

Armie’s blood instantly turns to ice, anxiety shooting through every vein at once. The overwhelming fear of losing Timmy drying up all his tears. “No, Timmy, what’re you…”

He doesn’t even get to finish his sentence before Timmy interrupts, still with tears free-falling down his cheeks. “I’m saying, if you don’t choose you, then _I_ choose _me, _and I’m not gonna stick around to watch you ruin your life.”

The icy fear instantly turns to fiery rage, and even to this day, Armie regrets the words he let fall out of his mouth next. If he could go back in time and only change one thing, this would be it. He’d make himself say literally anything but what he actually did. Because maybe then, Timmy would still be in his life.

Sadly, changing the past is impossible, and Armie will have to keep living with the regret of opening his mouth and spitting out these next words for the rest of his life.

“Wow… It’s like that, is it? All these years of friendship, they meant noth– _I_ meant nothing to you? You’re really gonna throw it all away because I can’t… Because I won’t divorce my wife for you?!”

Sucking in a hurt breath, Timmy shakes his head, looking back at Armie as if he doesn’t even know him anymore. “No, fuck you, you_ know_ that’s not what I’m saying!”

“Yeah? Well, it’s what I’m fucking hearing!” Armie is so angry that he doesn’t even realize that he’s completely fucking up one of the only good things he had left in his life, he’s had nightmares about this night for years already.

In those nightmares he can see the hurt on Timmy’s face so clearly, but that night, he’d been so blinded by rage, he’d missed it completely.

“I can’t do this with you Armie, not again. I can’t.” Timmy shakes his head and walks into the guestroom and picks up his bag. He hadn’t even had the chance to unpack it yet.

“You’re really just walking away from me right now?” Armie scoffs, trying to block Timmy’s path to the front door, but Timmy just ducks beneath his outstretched arm, and looks back at him with a sad smile.

“Yeah, yeah I am. Call me when you grow the fuck up and realize I was right.” He says, hand on the doorknob. “I just hope for your sake it’s not going to be too late.”

“Don’t hold your breath.” Armie spits out, watching Timmy nod one last time, a final tear rolling down his cheek, face full of heartbreak.

“I won’t.”

Timmy slams the door behind him, startling Armie out of his rage, and regret instantly fills his veins, making his insides feel ice cold and empty. He’s just about to chase after Timmy when Harper comes stumbling into the living room, holding a stuffed bunny by the ear, rubbing her eyes to try and wake herself up.

“Daddy? I heard yelling. Where’s uncle Timmy?”

Armie finds himself choking back tears as he looks down at her sleepy and confused face. “He left, sweetheart.” He manages to press out, feeling his heart tear itself into a thousand pieces as Harper’s face immediately crumples.

“But.” She says, tearing up. “I didn’t get my goodbye kiss?”

Armie gathers her up in his arms, settling her on his hip, his own eyes welling up with tears as she immediately wraps her arms around his neck and snuggles closer.

“Neither did I, darling.” He whispers wetly, not really meaning for Harper to hear him, but as she clings to him and begins patting the back of his head, it’s obvious she’s trying to comfort him. He’s unable to stop the tears from falling after that.

“It’s okay, daddy, don’t cry.” Harper says softly, pulling back to kiss his cheek, and Armie lets out a choked sob as she tries in vain to wipe Armie’s tears away with her small hands. “We’ll get our kisses next time, uncle Timmy loves us, I know it.”

She sounds so sure, like it never even occurred to her to question Timmy’s love for them, it was just as much a truth to her as the sky being blue. He knows she’s trying to make him feel better, but all it does is make him cry even harder, because he already knows that there will never be a next time.

Timmy had just walked out of his life for good, and worse, Armie had let him.

Armie had regretted not chasing after Timmy ever since that night, but he still couldn’t get himself to pick up the phone and call. Not even when Liz came crying to him on Christmas Eve, just a few months after Timmy walked out, and told him that she was pregnant but the baby wasn’t his.

He didn’t call him then, even though he should have.

He didn’t call him when he packed up his belongings and moved out of the house.

He didn’t call him when he was served with divorce papers.

He didn’t call him when he signed them.

He didn’t call him when the divorce was finalized.

He didn’t call him when the divorce was made public.

He’d wanted to, every time single time he had picked up the phone, his thumb hovering over Timmy’s name in his contacts, but he’d never actually pressed down. And now it had been three whole years, so no matter how much he missed him, he knew it was too late.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen him at all since that night, Hollywood is big, but it’s not _that_ big. Every single award show interview, movie festival, promo tour, he was asked about Timmy – Did they still speak? Any news on the Call Me sequel? How proud was he of Timmy’s Oscar win?

He lied, and lied, and then lied some more. The only thing he never lied about, was how proud he was of all of Timmy’s achievements. He’d always known Timmy was special, that he would amount to great things, and nothing made him happier than to be right about that.

Timmy was never asked about Armie at all, his team had clearly blacklisted any and all mentions of him, probably at Timmy’s request, which didn’t surprise him at all. He’d been asked by his own team if that was something he wanted as well, but he’d just shook his head and said it didn’t bother him.

They didn’t need to know that the only reason he allowed it to keep happening, was that he felt like that was the only connection to Timmy he had left, and he would rather die than to sever it.

The first time he saw Timmy after that night, had been at a movie festival a few months later. He’d heard the rumors, of course, just like everyone else, that Timmy had found someone. He hadn’t been sure what to think about it, if it was for real or a pr exaggeration, but in the end it didn’t matter – Timmy had shown up to the festival with the girl of the hour on his arm, they’d spent the entire weekend together, and then Armie had never seen her around him ever again.

In fact, after that, Timmy seemed to have a new girl on his arm every time Armie saw him.

It had stung a bit of course, but he figured he deserved it, some kind of karmic retribution for all the times Timmy had been forced to watch him parade around with Liz.

The few times Timmy had made eye contact with him, Armie will never forget. He’d always said that Timmy was an open book, how everything he feels is right there for you to see on his face, and he’d always loved that about him – at least until now. Because those few times Armie had looked at Timmy, and found him looking back, his face would shutter close, and his smile would die in an instant.

It wasn’t hard for Armie to realize that Timmy hated him now, it was right there, written on his face, for everyone to see. Armie had always known he’d fucked up, from the very second the door had slammed shut behind Timmy back in London, he’d known. But the look Timmy would get on his face when he saw him now, it really cemented it, and he knew, even if he had worked up the courage to call – Timmy wouldn’t have picked up.

When he’d gotten the phone call, to say he was surprised was an understatement. He’d had Luca repeat himself about fifteen times, just to make sure he wasn’t hearing him wrong. But he hadn’t, he’d heard him exactly right – The Call Me sequel was a go, and Timmy had already signed on to do it.

Armie said yes before he’d even had the chance to think about what filming the sequel would mean. How could they ever recapture the feeling of that first summer, especially now that Timmy hated his guts.

In a way, them not being on speaking terms would probably work to their advantage at first, since there no doubt would be quite a bit of awkwardness to Elio and Oliver the first time they see each other again, after everything.

He hadn’t read the script for it yet, but he knew it would at least force him and Timmy to be in the same room, to look into each other’s eyes, and hopefully touch, kiss – he would do literally anything to feel Timmy’s lips on his, just one last time.

He didn’t even care that it would be as Oliver, and not as himself, as long as he got at least one kiss. If he got that, he would leave this shoot a happy man.

He wasn’t naive enough to think that filming this movie would change anything between them, since it wasn’t just _one_ thing that broke them apart, but several small ones, building up over time, until Timmy reached his limit. He’d given Armie a chance, several chances really, but he hadn’t taken them. Even at the end of his rope, Timmy had given Armie a chance to reach out later, but he hadn’t done it.

He’d run out of chances, and he knew it.

When he arrives in Italy, months later, he’s greeted at the airport by a grinning Luca, holding a poster with a peach drawn on it with an orange glitter pen. Shaking his head with a laugh, he walks over, giving Luca a hug.

“Really? Out of all the things you could have put on that poster, _that’s_ what you go with?” Armie doesn’t know why he’s surprised, Luca always had way too much fun with the peach jokes, but he had thought they’d be finished with that by now. But clearly not.

With a grin, Luca just shrugs. “Timmy said I should just write your name, but, where is the fun in that?”

At the sound of Timmy’s name, Armie’s mouth instantly dries out, and he swallows deeply, desperately trying to get his voice to work. “Oh, he’s – He’s here already?” He says, wincing at how breathless he sounds, but all Luca does is nod.

“Mhm. Arrived yesterday. I would have thought you would fly together.” He knows Luca doesn’t mean to sound accusatory, or actually, he probably does. Whenever Armie had tried to tell him that he and Timmy didn’t speak anymore, Luca had always just scoffed, and said something profound about two halves of one whole not being able to survive without the other for too long.

At first, Armie believed him, but as the years continued to pass, he’d eventually given up on hoping.

“Luca…” Armie sighs, running a hand through his newly lightened hair. “You know Timmy and I – That we, we don’t – we’re not… We haven’t been, for a long time now.”

Luca just rolls his eyes, and scoffs, muttering something to himself in Italian before turning to around to walk out of the airport, clearly assuming Armie would follow. Which of course he does, he’d follow Luca to the ends of the earth at this point.

The drive back to Crema passes by in the blink of an eye, and Armie barely has the chance to suck in a deep breath to prepare before the Villa comes into view. The second he lays his eyes on it, he’s ambushed by memories from the last time he was there.

He had a lot of wonderful memories of his time in Crema, but, as with most things in his life, all he could really think about was Timmy.

Taking a deep breath, he closes his eyes, and it’s like he’s traveling back in time, finding himself sitting next to Timmy in the grass behind Luca’s house, thumbing through the script trying to find the page Luca had just told them to act out for him.

He hears Timmy let out a breathless laugh as he reaches the correct page, Armie turns to him with a raised eyebrow, and finds him shyly looking up at him from underneath his eyelashes. “It’s…” He starts, before handing his script over to Armie. “Our first kiss. Or, I mean, _their_ first kiss.”

Armie smiles softly back at Timmy as he stutters his way through his sentence, quickly looking down at the script and seeing the words [They kiss] printed there. He’d always known this role would include kissing, most roles did, and he’d never been nervous to do it before – not even that one time he had to kiss DiCaprio, which honestly still might be the most awkward film-kiss of his career.

But watching Timmy as he nervously licks his lips, before settling the tip of his tongue against his front teeth, Armie can’t deny that he feels butterflies fluttering around in his stomach at the thought of being allowed to kiss him.

Timmy raises his eyebrows at him, wordlessly asking if he was game to give Luca what he was asking for, and when Armie nodded, Timmy’s face lit up with the cutest crooked smile Armie thinks he’s ever seen in his life.

He’ll never forget the first dry press of their lips together, or how both of them immediately started giggling into each other’s mouths as Luca lets out a long suffering groan before hitting them both over the back of the head, waving his arms around as he tells them to do it again. “Kiss as lovers, not strangers!”

Armie’s tongue comes out to wet his lips, and because Timmy hasn’t bothered pulling back since they were gonna be kissing again almost immediately anyway, the tip of his tongue ends up tracing Timmy’s lips as well. Luca doesn’t even have to tell them to get started this time, Timmy just groans and climbs into Armie’s lap, his legs straddling his hips perfectly, as if he were made to sit there.

Timmy buries his hands into Armie’s hair, giving it a light pull and Armie can feel him grinning into the kiss as Armie immediately moans and opens his mouth to Timmy’s tongue. He grabs Timmy by the hips, pulling him closer, and loses himself in the kiss – the feel of their tongues dancing together, their lips moving against each other, completely forgetting both time and space.

When they eventually pull back for breath, panting into each other’s mouths, and realize that Luca is long gone, it only takes a couple of seconds for both of them to burst out into giggles. Both of them laughing so hard that Timmy tips off Armie’s lap, and they spend the next ten minutes lying next to each other in the grass just laughing their asses off.

Sitting up, Timmy runs a hand though his hair, and smiles softly down at Armie before leaning in and kissing him one more time, whispering against his lips, “This is gonna be amazing, I know it.”

He also finds himself remembering some of the truly fantastic dinners, and evenings they had all shared, but once again, his memories seem to settle themselves firmly on Timmy.

Like the first dinner party at Luca’s, after a whole day of Timmy showing him around Crema and telling him about all his favorite places, Timmy was still beyond excited to be able to tell Armie what his favorite meals were and how he’d light up every time Armie liked something he’d recommended.

He’d also really loved that even though the table would constantly be filled to the brim with food and people, Timmy would always choose to sit next to him. Every day, without fail, Timmy would hang back and wait to see where Armie would sit, and slide into the seat next to him – the few times other people were already sitting there, he’d leaned in and whispered something in their ear, making them smile and stand up, letting him sit down in their place.

There’d been that one night, after one too many bottles of wine, where Luca had decided that they’d have the next day off, and Armie finds himself drunkenly stumbling back to his apartment, with his arm around Timmy’s shoulder, trying to keep them both upright. Luca had offered for them to stay in one of his guestrooms, but Armie had claimed that he felt up for the walk back to his apartment, and as always, Timmy went along with everything Armie did.

Timmy drunkenly sang along to Bad Romance by Lady Gaga practically the whole way home, Armie giggling under his breath every time he got to the rah-rah parts, because he would get so into it, it was a wonder he didn’t fall over – He definitely would have if Armie hadn’t been there, holding him up.

As Timmy is in the middle of shaking his ass and pointing to Armie, singing how he wanted his bad, bad romance, a random Italian woman, with a sleep mask hastily shoved onto her forehead, sticks her head out of her window and yells something at them – definitely telling them to shut the fuck up, even though they didn’t understand a word that was coming out of her mouth.

Instead of shutting up though, Timmy turns towards her and yells “I’M A FREE BITCH BABY!” only to trip over his own feet and nearly faceplanting onto the sidewalk. Armie only barely manages to catching him in time, grabbing onto his arm hard enough to bruise, pulling him into his chest and with a sigh, Timmy buries his nose in Armie’s chest hair.

Once the shock of Timmy nearly braining himself on the sidewalk passes, their eyes meet, and both of them burst out laughing – Cackling the entire way back to their apartments.

In the end, Timmy crashes in Armie’s bed, starfished on his belly right in the middle of it, snoring like a chainsaw. The original plan had been to take him back to his own apartment, and make sure he got settled, but when they got to their apartment building, the dad in him poked his head out, and he just couldn’t with a clean conscience leave him alone. Considering the amount of alcohol he’d consumed, Armie felt a lot better knowing he was close enough that he could keep an eye on him.

He’d woken up the next morning to Timmy puking his guts out, whining pitifully into the toilet as everything he’d drank last night came back to bite him. Armie sleepily staggered to the bathroom, and spent the next half hour sitting next to Timmy on the bathroom floor, stroking his back until his stomach was completely empty.

Flushing the toilet, Timmy turns to look at him with red, wet, bloodshot eyes, croaking out “Thank you for being here, man.”

Armie smilies softly back at him, ruffling his curls, as he whispers, “There’s literally nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Thinking back on filming, it’s hard to pick just one scene that he savors the memory of more than others, but shooting the midnight scene is definitely high on the list. It was basically just a whole week of rolling around naked in bed with Timmy, kissing until their lips were raw and swollen.

But it was also giggling and shaking their heads every time one of the crew tried being respectful and handing them their robes during the breaks, being so comfortable with their nakedness, they didn’t really see the point, choosing just to stay cuddled up together until Luca called action – then everything faded into the background and disappeared, until the only two people who remained in the room were Elio and Oliver.

He also remembers being so overwhelmed with love, for Timmy, for Elio, Oliver, all of them, that when the time comes to say the infamous call me by your name line, he completely chokes. His eyes instantly well up with tears, and his throat closes up, and the words just will not come.

Luca calls cut, and gives them a moment to themselves, quietly shuffling everyone out the door as Timmy starts peppering his face with soft kisses. “It’s okay, Armie, just let it out.” Timmy whispers into his hair as he strokes Armie’s back. “You’re allowed to feel things, don’t try and fight it.”

He doesn’t know how long he’d sobbed his heart out on that bed, with his face buried in Timmy’s neck, as he runs his fingers through his hair and strokes his back, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. But when he was all cried out, and he’d pushed himself up on his elbows, and looked down at Timmy’s smiling face, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from leaning in and kissing him, whispering a quiet “Thank you.” against his lips.

Filming the peach scene had taken them all by surprise, they’d expected it to be awkward, to the point where Armie wasn’t even allowed to be there until after, when Oliver walks into the room catching Elio off guard.

None of them had expected to be so emotionally compromised by Elio clinging to Oliver, telling him he doesn’t want him to go. Reading the script, Armie had expected it to be sad, of course, but he’d also focused a lot more on the fact that he wasn’t allowed to eat the peach, and spent more energy trying to talk Luca into letting him do that, than think about how he’d react to having Timmy sobbing his heart out while telling him he didn’t want him to leave.

It had absolutely torn his heart in two, and even though Oliver wasn’t meant to cry, he couldn’t stop himself. They’d taken a little breather so that Armie could get himself under control, but he’d refused to leave Timmy alone, so they kept sitting in the middle of the bed, just holding each other tight.

Once it was all done, and Luca had finally called cut, there wasn’t a single dry eye in the room, even Sayombhu was wiping away tears behind the camera. Armie pressed a quick kiss to Timmy’s temple, and pulled back to look into his eyes. “You’re amazing, you know that?” He says quietly, smiling softly as a light blush darkens Timmy’s cheeks and he looks down at the mattress with a mumbled “Shut up.”

There had been quite a few tears in Bergamo as well, filming that last kiss had nearly broken them both. Luca had given them a couple of shots before shooting started, to loosen them up, clearly forgetting that Timmy tended to get quite in his feelings when he’d been drinking, and instead of making things easier, it just made him all the more clingy and sad.

It worked for the scene though, the way Elio couldn’t seem to keep his hands off Oliver, desperate to kiss him. No one would have to know that while the scene started out as Elio and Oliver, by the end, it was purely Timmy and Armie.

They’d shot the kiss over and over and over, and every time he called cut, Luca got more and more frustrated, practically yelling at them to pull their heads out of their asses and kiss as though it would be the last time they ever would, kiss as though the other person was their whole life and they knew they would never see them again and wanted to make sure they’d never forget one another.

Armie swallowed down his tears, and gave the kiss his all, he kissed Timmy as though he was saying goodbye to the other half of his soul, and he could feel Timmy doing the same. This time when Luca called cut, there were no criticism to be heard.

Timmy hadn’t wanted to let go of him just yet, his hands clutching Armie’s shirt, as he fought against the tears that were threatening to fall down his cheeks. Armie didn’t want to let go of Timmy either, and pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around his back as Timmy buried his face in his neck.

Eventually Timmy lost the fight against the tears, wet tears hitting the skin of Armie’s neck, and they could hear Luca in the background telling people to clear out and give them space. Once Timmy’s sobs have gone quiet, Armie gently takes his chin between his thumb and index finger, and tilts his head up to look at him.

He finds himself cupping Timmy’s jaw, his thumb gently stroking his cheek, watching as Timmy’s eyes flutters shut and he whispers “Kiss me, one last time, just for us, _please_.” Armie knew he should tell him no, tell him that he had a wife to think about, but he just couldn’t.

And he didn’t really want to.

Instead, he captures Timmy’s lips in one final kiss – tasting the salt of his tears, but also the familiar taste of Timmy underneath it all, and he knew right then and there, he would never be able to forget this kid.

It hadn’t all been tears though, he still remembers Timmy’s breathy giggles as he lifted his foot up to his mouth and kissed it during the nosebleed scene. How his breath had shuttered as he looked into Timmy’s eyes and saw nothing but awe shining back at him.

The pleading look in his eyes when he’d asked if he could please stand on top of Armie’s feet, because the ground was so hot, it was burning the soles of his feet, and he didn’t want to go get any shoes. The beautiful smile that spread across his face when Armie had nodded his head, and he’d climbed on top of Armie’s feet, holding onto his shoulders so that he wouldn’t topple off, giggling into Armie’s shoulder as Armie wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer.

The first time Timmy had followed him up to the attic for a quick smoke break, Armie had just raised an eyebrow, offered Timmy a cigarette and said “I didn’t know you smoked?”

Timmy’s eyes had flickered between the cigarette and Armie’s face, before he eventually just shrugged, walking passed Armie and into the room, calling out to Armie, “I don’t, I just – I just wanted to be with you.”

“Alright, Elio.” Armie had joked, walking across the room, opening a window and lighting his cigarette. Having Timmy there as company was something Armie didn’t even realize he’d been craving all the other times he’d snuck away for a smoke, and before they’d gone back down to the others, Armie had stopped Timmy with a hand on his shoulder. “I’m really happy you followed me up here, man.”

The smile that had spread on Timmy’s face at that was still one of Armie’s favorite memories.

Armie had so many happy memories of Timmy from filming that movie, from something as simple as taking a nap beside each other in the grass while waiting for a problem with the lighting to get resolved.

To splashing around in Lake Garda, getting completely soaked, and laughing as Luca chewed them out for getting their costumes wet. They’d carefully laid their clothes out on the ground to dry, and cuddled up on the same towel, in nothing but their underwear, trying to soak up as much sun as possible before everything dried out and they had to get back to work.

Armie really hadn’t been lying when he called that summer his great summer romance, because even now, six years later, it still was.

When Luca’s car pulls up into the driveway, Timmy is right there, waiting on the front steps. While Armie had known that he’d be there, that they couldn’t shoot this movie without being in the same place, breathing the same air – he still hadn’t quite managed to prepare himself for what it would feel like, looking into Timmy’s eyes for the first time in years.

The second their eyes meet, all the air rushes out of his lungs, and Armie is forced to lean his back against the car so that he doesn’t fall over. He’s so focused on keeping his breathing even, that doesn’t hear what Luca is saying, just barely registers the vibrations of his voice in the air, but he sees the way Timmy reacts to them, how he nods, smiles, only for the smile to fall right off his face as he looks back at Armie.

And then he turns around and walks away, not sparing Armie a second glance.

Armie had known it wouldn’t be this easy, that the issues between them wouldn’t be fixed just by being in the same place again, but it still broke his heart a little that Timmy didn’t even seem happy to see him. He missed the way Timmy’s face used to light up every time he saw him, he missed being someone who brought Timmy joy – instead of just upsetting him.

Luca mutters something to himself, coming up next to Armie and patting him on the shoulder. “He’ll come around.” Luca sounds so sure of himself, that Armie can’t help but smile before shaking his head, turning to look at Luca with a small frown.

“I don’t think so, man, it’s…”

He doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence before Luca scoffs, hitting him over the back of his head. “Nonsense. Have faith, you two are meant to be, it’s in the stars.” and with that, he storms off into the Villa, leaving Armie alone outside, rubbing the back of his head with a bewildered smile on his face.

The dinner party that night is the first one where Timmy doesn’t sit next to him, instead Timmy acts like Armie isn’t even there. Armie had been prepared for that, it still hurt, but it didn’t make his heart bleed as much anymore.

The expected brush offs, those he could deal with, it was far worse when he didn’t see them coming.

On his way back from the bathroom later in the evening, he accidentally walks passed Timmy talking to someone on the phone, he doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, but when he hears his name, he can’t help but stop and listen.

“I hate that he’s here, I can’t… I can’t even look at him without – I know, _I know_, I just – I hate it. I hate _him_.” The pain in Timmy’s voice tears his heart in pieces, the words doesn’t take him that much by surprise, he’d always known Timmy hated him now. He’d fucked up way too much for him not to hate him.

He’s just about to walk away, when he hears a thud, as if Timmy lightly hit the back of his head against the wall, and his voice comes out quietly, filled with so much regret Armie immediately takes a step back, because he knows he was never meant to hear this. “No, you know I don’t, of course I don’t, fuck I wish I did, but I never will. It just, it fucking sucks, you know?”

Walking back out to the dinner party, Armie quietly excuses himself to Luca, claiming jetlag and travel exhaustion, before retreating into his makeshift bedroom for the night. It’s been a long, long time since he last cried himself to sleep, in fact he hadn’t done it since that night Timmy had walked out on him, but after the emotional roller coaster that today has been, he doesn’t quite manage to stop the tears from falling. He can feel them wetting the pillow beneath his head, as he bites down on his knuckles to try and muffle his sobs.

Armie can’t remember falling asleep, but he wakes up the next day with a stuffy nose, and swollen, red rimmed eyes from crying, feeling a little like he’d been run over by a bus. But after a rather lengthy shower, where he might have let a couple of more tears fall, he feels a lot better, and way more ready to face the day – and more importantly, Timmy.

Walking down the stairs he can’t help but notice that the house is incredibly quiet. In fact, considering all the people who were meant to be here now, it’s a little_ too_ quiet.

He finds Timmy in the kitchen, sitting on one of the counters holding a bowl of cereal, chewing on a mouthful while lightly swinging his legs back and forth. When Armie walks into the room, Timmy raises an eyebrow at him, before shoving the box of cereal towards him with his elbow.

“Thanks.” Armie whispers, before pouring some cereal into a bowl he’d grabbed from one of the cabinets. He’s not naive enough to think that just because Timmy offered him some cereal, it means that he wants him to stick around, so as soon as he’s added some milk, he takes his bowl, and his spoon, and walks out into the backyard.

He’s amazed to see that they’ve already managed to recreate the pool, and how it looks exactly like it did all those years ago, or maybe they just never tore it down – he hadn’t been here since the last time they were filming, so he had no real way of knowing. At least not until he got the chance to ask Luca.

After finishing his breakfast, Armie soaks his feet in the pool, enjoying the feel of the warm Italian sun on his skin. He’s debating taking a little nap in the grass while waiting for Luca and the others to return from wherever they’d gone off to, when a shadow falls on his face.

Lifting his sunglasses and opening his eyes, he finds himself looking into Timmy’s eyes. “Oh, uhm, did you – Uh, can I help you?” He instantly cringes at his choice of words, but Timmy doesn’t seem to care, he’s got his arms crossed in front of himself as he impatiently shifts his weight from one leg to another, clearly debating with himself about whether he actually wants to speak to Armie or not.

“Did Luca tell you when he’d be coming back?”

Armie is so surprised that Timmy actually spoke to him, that he almost forgets to answer. In fact, he just stares dumbly up at him for so long, that Timmy rolls his eyes, and starts to turn away, before Armie manages collect himself enough to blurt out, “No! I mean, no, I – He didn’t say anything to me. I thought, I thought he’d told you?”

With a frown, Timmy shakes his head, digging his phone out of the back pocket of his shorts. “I’m gonna give him a call.”

Armie lets himself get lost in watching Timmy as he waits for Luca to pick up the phone, how he lightly chews on his bottom lip, scratches the side of his nose and furrows his eyebrows when he gets Luca’s voicemail. He brings his phone back down, and Armie sees him press his thumb down on Luca’s name one more time.

“He’s not… He’s not picking up.” Timmy frowns, blinking down at his phone as he gets sent to voicemail again. “Can you try? Maybe… Maybe he’ll pick up if it’s you.”

With a shrug, Armie digs his own phone out of his pocket, and quickly finds Luca’s name in his contact list. The first time he tries, he gets sent to voicemail too, but the second time, Luca actually picks up.

“Have you made up?” is all Luca says, and when Armie just splutters, he repeats it, sounding for all the world like a frustrated parent. “I said, have you made up?”

“Uhm…” Armie looks up at Timmy who is still chewing on his bottom lip, staring back at Armie with an eyebrow raised in question. “No, no we’ve – No.”

Luca scoffs, and Armie can hear him whispering something to someone in the background, before he comes back and says “Call me when you do.” Then he hangs up before Armie even has the chance to say anything at all.

Staring down at his phone in bewilderment, Armie completely forgets that Timmy is even there, so when he clears his throat, Armie nearly drops his phone into the pool. He looks up at Timmy with a sheepish smile, and when Timmy smiles softly back at him, his stomach erupts with hundreds of tiny butterflies fluttering around like crazy.

“What did he say?” Timmy asks quietly, trying in vain to tuck his hair behind his ear.

“Hm?” Armie says dumbly, too busy watching the way Timmy’s fingers are curled around a strand of his hair. “Oh! Uhm, he said…” With a wince, he looks back down at his phone.

“Armie.” Timmy whispers, and in his peripheral vision, Armie can see him reaching out to touch him, before stopping himself and crossing his arms in front of his chest again. “What did he say?”

“He said… To call him when we’d made up.”

“Oh.” Timmy breathes out, before promptly turning around and walking back inside. Armie can hear the door slamming behind him, and is instantly transported back to the last time Timmy had walked out on him. Just like back then, he feels a strong urge to get up and follow him, but also just like back then, he doesn’t.

Listening to an audio book on his phone, Armie does end up taking a nap in the grass. He feels more than a little disoriented when he wakes up, and decides to take a quick dip in the pool, hoping he’d feel a little more human when he got back out.

It sort of works, but mostly now he just feels cold, wet, and like he’s accidentally slept for half a decade only to wake up in a world he doesn’t recognize at all.

He feels better after a quick lunch, he’d made enough for Timmy as well, wrapped a plate in plastic and put it in the fridge. To make sure Timmy would know it was for him, he wrote a note and stuck it to the fridge with one of the cute Italian flag magnets.

It’s around dinner time when he finishes his audio book, and just as he’s about to leave the pool for the day, and go inside and make some more food, Timmy suddenly appears by his side, slipping his feet into the water right next to Armie.

They sit in silence for a while, Armie desperately wants to start a conversation, but after everything, he has no idea where the fuck he would even start. Asking Timmy how he’d been just seems so… Insignificant.

In the end, it’s Timmy who breaks the silence, with a whispered, “You never called.”

He says it so quietly, that Armie isn’t even sure he heard him right, and that it wasn’t just wishful thinking on his part. He turns towards Timmy with a raised eyebrow, but Timmy is too busy staring down at their feet in the water to look at him. “Hm?”

“You- You got a divorce, but you never called.” Timmy looks up at him, tears filling his eyes, as he sucks his wobbling bottom lip into his mouth. “I was waiti –” Timmy cuts himself off with a sigh, and rubs a hand over his face. “Why did you never call?”

“I didn’t think you wanted me to.” Armie answers quietly, he sees Timmy’s hand twitch in his lap, and he wants nothing more than to reach out and take his hand in his, possibly even tangle their fingers together, but he knows Timmy would never allow him to do that.

With a scoff, Timmy looks up at him, his eyebrows climbing towards his hairline. “What? Why wouldn’t I… What?”

Sucking in a deep breath, Armie runs a hand through his hair as he looks up at the sky, whispering “I… I didn’t divorce Liz.” He looks back down at Timmy, and finds him frowning back at him, so he soldiers on, trying desperately to get his thoughts in order to properly explain himself. Timmy deserved that much.

“_She_ divorced _me_. She cheated on me and got pregnant. If she hadn’t, I’d… I probably never would have left.” As much as it hurts him to say it out loud, he knows it’s true, if Liz hadn’t asked for a divorce, he doubts he’d ever work up the courage to leave her. Especially not when he’d already lost Timmy.

With a sigh, Armie rubs both his hands across his face before bringing them up through his hair, tipping his head back to stare up at the sky. Taking a deep breath, he turns back towards Timmy with a sad smile. “You deserve someone who would actually choose you. You deserve being someone’s first choice, not a… Not a backup plan. You deserve… _Fuck_, you just deserve so much better, better than me.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Timmy spits, voice practically dripping with venom, taking Armie completely by surprise.

“Wha–”

“No, shh, shut up! You don’t get it. How can you…” Timmy swallows, closing his eyes and letting a couple of tears fall down his cheeks before looking back up at Armie, eyes fiery with determination. “You don’t get to decide who I love. You don’t fucking get to decide who I think is worth it. You don’t get to do that.”

Swallowing down tears, Armie croaks out “But I –” only to immediately get cut off by Timmy, still ranting, angrily poking Armie in the chest with his finger

“No. Who _I_ love, who _I_ choose, that’s mine. You don’t get to make those choices for me.” Armie gives up the fight against his tears, and lets them fall freely down his cheeks, but keeps his teeth firmly clamped down on his bottom lip to make sure no sobs accidentally escapes.

Armie closes his fist around Timmy’s hand, holding his palm against his chest, knowing there was no way Timmy wouldn’t be able to feel just how quickly his heart was beating. “I’ve been fucking waiting three years for you to call. _Three years_.” Timmy says with a humorless laugh, looking up at Armie, his eyes swimming in tears, and Armie finds himself flinching, letting go of Timmy’s hand and letting it fall down to his lap.

“When your divorce was announced, I thought…” Timmy sucks in a deep breath, wiping his nose on the back of his wrist. “I thought you’d finally done it, you’d finally realized you loved me too, loved me enough to choose me. I stayed up all night waiting for you to call, I must have checked my phone a thousand times that day. But you…”

Timmy cuts himself off with a shake of his head, a couple of tears falling from his lashes and landing on Armie’s shorts, shattering his heart completely.

“I never called.” Armie says quietly, voice shaking with unshed tears.

“No, you never called.” Timmy swallows deeply, chewing on his bottom lip, as he reaches out for Armie’s hand. Armie watches quietly as Timmy tangles their fingers together, and gives his hand a light squeeze. When Armie squeezes back, Timmy smiles softly up at him, lifting their entwined hands and kissing the back of Armie’s palm.

“Why? Armie, goddammit, why didn’t you fucking call?” Armie opens his mouth to answer, but Timmy immediately shakes his head. “Please don’t give me this you deserve better bullshit, because we both know that’s not the whole truth.”

Armie nods, looking down at their entwined hands, before closing his eyes and swallowing deeply. “I… The truth is, I was scared.” Armie whispers, blinking rapidly to try to keep the tears at bay. “I’m – I, I really do think you deserve better than me, I can’t – I’m not what you deserve. But… Mostly it was just because I was too scared to call, and have you say you’d moved on, that you… That your feelings had changed. I wouldn’t… I couldn’t have – hearing you say that would have broken me.”

For a while, the only sounds to be heard, are the birds chirping around them, and their stuttering breaths. “You should have called.” Timmy whispers.

“I –” Armie doesn’t get further than that, before he’s cut off by Timmy’s finger on his lips, Timmy shaking his head at him with a tearful smile.

“You should have called, so that I could have told you that I loved you.”

“Loved.” Armie repeats quietly, nodding to himself, he’d always known Timmy didn’t love him anymore, but it still hurt to have it confirmed. He should have called, but now it was too late.

Timmy shakes his head as he reaches out to cup Armie’s cheek, smiling as he wipes away the tears that Armie hadn’t even noticed were running down his cheeks. “No, you big idiot. _Love. _Three years, and I never fucking stopped loving you. I tried so fucking hard, so many people, I… I broke so many people’s hearts trying to fill the missing piece in mine, but…” Timmy lifts his hand, and places it palm down on Armie’s chest, right above his heart. “It’s been here with you this whole time.”

“You – you still?” Armie chokes on the feeling of hope that comes bubbling up his throat, almost not daring to believe he heard Timmy correctly.

“Yeah, I still.” Timmy smiles, and Armie’s breath catches in his throat. Timmy leans in and nuzzles his nose against Armie’s, and even though all he can see is a blur, Armie can’t quite get himself to close his eyes, just in case this turns out to be nothing but a dream, and Timmy will be gone when he opens them again.

He can feel Timmy getting ready to kiss him, but instead of licking his lips and leaning into it, Armie pulls back. It breaks his heart to see fear start to rise in Timmy’s eyes, so he quickly reaches out to grab Timmy’s hands, wrapping them up in his own.

“Say it again. Please.” He whispers, licking his lips and smiling over at Timmy, whose entire face lights up with happiness.

“I love you.”

This time, when Timmy leans in to kiss him, Armie doesn’t pull back, instead, he whispers, “I love you, too.” before capturing Timmy’s smiling lips in a kiss.

Despite both of them smiling too widely for it to be a very good kiss, it’s still easily the best one Armie has ever had. And it only gets better as Timmy climbs into his lap, straddling his hips, as his tongue seeks entrance into Armie’s mouth.

When Timmy grinds down, both of them let out a gasp, feeling more than a little overwhelmed.

“Take me to bed” Timmy whispers, biting Armie’s bottom lip, adding “Please, Elio”

Armie feels like he’s been electrocuted, with a groan he licks his way back into Timmy’s mouth, before grabbing a hold of his ass, pushing himself to his feet. He feels Timmy’s legs tighten around his waist as he stands up, and he finds himself smiling into the kiss, so fucking grateful for the fact that he’s allowed to do this.

After letting his tongue trace Timmy’s adorably crooked teeth, Armie pulls back to look at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek with a smile, whispering into his ear. “Oliver.”

He hears Timmy’s breath catch in his throat, and he tightens his legs around Armie waist with a groan. “Armie, please, I’ve waited three years for this, don’t make me wait another three years to get you into bed.”

By some miracle of the universe, Armie manages to carry Timmy into the house without tripping over anything, or falling on the stairs. They end up in Elio’s bedroom, grinning at each other as they push the beds together.

Timmy flops down onto the bed, grinning up at Armie “Fuck me, Elio.”

Armie chuckles, shaking his head, climbing onto the bed and blanketing Timmy with his body. He kisses him softly, he can feel Timmy’s desperation start to creep into the kiss, but instead of meeting it with his own, he slows everything down.

“I don’t…” He starts, rolling off Timmy, not wanting him to panic, he stays close, pressing a quick kiss to Timmy’s collarbone, and starts tracing imaginary patterns with his finger on Timmy’s clothed chest. “I don’t want to _fuck_ you, Timmy.”

Timmy immediately frowns, letting out a questioning sound and tries to push himself up on his elbows. Armie silences him with a finger, before leaning in for a kiss, replacing his finger with his lips. “I didn’t mean that I don’t want you. I just meant, all I want, right now, is to love you. Will you let me do that? Please?”

With tears welling up in his eyes, Timmy nods, “Love me, please.” he whispers with a smile.

Capturing his lips in another kiss, Armie starts pushing Timmy’s t-shirt up his chest, rubbing his chest and occasionally flicking his nipples, smiling into the kiss as it makes Timmy gasp. “You like that, huh?” He whispers, loving the absolutely dazed look in Timmy’s eyes.

With Timmy’s help, he manages to get him out of his t-shirt, and leans in for another kiss. Carefully, he lowers his weight onto Timmy, letting him feel all of him, and when Armie rolls his hips, just to be a tease, he’s rewarded with Timmy clutching his back and throwing his head back with a gasp.

With a smirk, Armie gently bites Timmy’s bottom lip, before slowly starting to kiss his way down his neck. As he flattens his tongue over Timmy’s Adam’s apple, he can’t stop grinning as he feels Timmy’s moan vibrate through his tongue.

With a quick bite to Timmy’s collarbone, Armie starts kissing his way down his chest. Once again, unable to stop himself from pinching Timmy’s nipples, and with the way Timmy keeps responding to it, he makes a mental note to indulge in some proper nipple play later.

Pressing open mouthed kisses all over Timmy’s belly, and enjoying having him sink his fingers into his hair and pulling on it, he can’t stop himself from dipping his tongue into Timmy’s belly button before slowly licking his way down his treasure trail until his chin hits Timmy’s pubes – thanks to Timmy’s foresight to push his shorts and underwear down.

Even though he’s pretty sure that Timmy wants this, he still stops to look up at him, waiting for his nod before he takes his dick in his hand. Once he gets his confirmation, he smiles before slowly licking the head of Timmy’s dick, blushing a little at the guttural groan that tears itself from Timmy’s throat.

As he takes Timmy all the way into his mouth, Armie knows that it’s not going to take very much to get him off, and he’ll probably end up coming before Timmy even has the chance to touch him.

Holding the base of Timmy’s dick as he dips his tongue into his slit, before sucking the head back into his mouth. He wants nothing more than to deep throat him, and have Timmy fuck his throat to completion, but he’s never done this before, and he doesn’t want to fuck it up, so deep throating will have to wait until later.

He focuses his attention on the head, sucking on it and using his tongue to play with it, while using his hand to jerk of the part of Timmy’s dick that he can’t quite fit into his mouth. He finds himself humping the mattress, and the friction on his dick just confirms that he’s about two seconds away from shooting into his pants.

Pulling his mouth off, Armie speeds up his hand, wanting Timmy to be just as close as he is himself. When Armie puts his dick back into his mouth, letting his tongue teasing the underside of his head, Timmy groans and arches his back, pulling on Armie’s hair in a warning to get him to pull off.

Armie moans around him, and just as Timmy starts panting, Armie feels his orgasm sneak up on him.

“I’m gonna, Armie! _Fuuu__uck_.” Timmy comes in Armie’s mouth with a groan, throwing an arm over his face when Armie swallows his come.

After catching his breath for a few seconds, Timmy pulls him up for a kiss, reaching down to jerk Armie off. Armie can’t stop a blush from taking over his face at Timmy’s bewilderment at finding his boxers already soaked.

“Did you?” Timmy whispers, looking between Armie’s face and his groin. When Armie nods, he groans, grabbing Armie’s face, kissing him desperately. “Just from sucking me off?” Timmy breathes against Armie’s lips, and when he nods again, he once again finds himself with a lap full of Timmy. “Fuck, I love you.”

After washing up, they cuddle up together in bed, Armie lays his head down on Timmy’s chest, smiling as he can hear the steady beat his heart, and humming to himself as Timmy runs his fingers through his hair.

“I can’t believe Luca fucking played us” Timmy says suddenly. “I mean, I’m grateful, but that scheming son of a…”

Armie chuckles, pressing a kiss to Timmy’s chest before sitting up, looking down at him with a soft smile. He traces Timmy’s lips with the tip of his finger, leaning down for a quick kiss before asking, “Would you have talked to me at all if he hadn’t?”

Biting his lips, Timmy shrugs, looking away, and Armie’s smile falls off his face.

“It would have taken me much longer.” Timmy says quietly, pushing himself up into a seated position, “if we hadn’t been alone here, and I hadn’t been so angry, both with you and Luca, I… It would have taken me too long, I might have missed my chance completely.”

Armie nods, smiling as Timmy reaches over to touch his thumb to his bottom lip. “What about you? Would you have said anything?”

Shaking his head, Armie looks down at his lap, fingers pulling at the sheets. “I’m not brave like you. There is no speak or die with me, I die every time.”

“That’s not true.” Timmy says, taking Armie’s chin between his thumb and index finger, and tipping his head up. “It’s not true.” He repeats with a shake of his head, cupping Armie’s cheek, and rubbing his thumb against his jaw. “But it doesn’t matter, Luca would never let you suffer in silence for too long.”

With a laugh, Armie nods, leaning in to kiss Timmy. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Lying back down, and placing his head back on Timmy’s chest, Armie smiles to himself as he feels Timmy drawing mindless designs on his back, when a question he doesn’t quite know that he wants the answer to suddenly pops into his brain.

He knows that Timmy can feel that he’s stiffened up, but he tries to breathe through it, with a less than successful result. Taking a deep breath, and letting it out slowly, he prepares himself to ask anyway.

“Armie?” Timmy asks quietly, tightening his grip on Armie’s shoulder. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine. I just…” Swallowing deeply, he tries to find the best words to ask his question. “I have a…Or – I mean, uhm. It’s just…”

Cutting himself off with a deep sigh, Armie sits back up, hiding his face in his hands, before whispering “It’s just, you… I couldn’t help but notice that, when we weren’t speaking, you never – you never dated any men. Was that, I mean, I…”

Feeling Timmy’s hand run through his hair, Armie looks up to find Timmy smiling softly down at him, before he leans in and kisses Armie on the forehead. “Are you asking me what my sexuality is?”

With a shrug, Armie smiles sheepishly. “Uhm… maybe?”

“Cute.” Timmy says with a smile, and kisses his nose. “I’m bisexual, but the reason I didn’t date any men while we were – anyway, I didn’t date any guys because… Every time a man tried to flirt with me, all I could think about was you. It was easier to pretend things were fine with girls.”

Armie nods, cupping Timmy’s cheek, smiling as Timmy immediately leans into his touch. “What about you?” Timmy whispers, and Armie’s face immediately scrunches up.

“I… oh god, this is gonna sound cheesy as fuck, but it’s true. For me, there’s…” Armie rubs his thumb against Timmy’s lips “For me there’s only you. You’re the only guy I’ve ever wanted.”

“Yeah?” Timmy smiles, stealing a kiss. “I’m your exception?”

“No.” Armie says with a shake of his head, kissing Timmy again, “You’re my everything.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been a goddamn nightmare. It has literally been fighting me every single step of the way, and I have never been happier to finish something IN MY LIFE.
> 
> The themes I was supposed to incorporate into this was enemies to lovers, which lol. But there was also stranded together, firsts, pwp and gay for you. So, needless to say, I failed, but!! A little is better than none. Probably. 
> 
> Also, I know that in real life the villa is far from a stranded place, but whatever, this is make believe, Luca left and they're ALL ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE. 
> 
> After this I'm never writing angst again, because holy crap I was miserable writing this. Just ask poor lfg1986 who had to listen to me whine for days on end. 
> 
> Hopefully you like this, but if you totally hate it, I understand 😂
> 
> Come hang out with me on tumblr if you want, @anephemeralmind over there too ♥️


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